Divorced and Remarried Parents

     Did you know that social media portrays that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce? It is crazy for me that the world has come so far as to believe that marriages aren’t special anymore. I just want to say first how grateful I am to be able to grow up knowing that being married and having that eternal companion is part of God’s plan. I think today so many people no longer believe that there are commandments out there or standards let alone a God. Regardless, children are growing up in a faithless world where they only get the benefits of having mothers in their lives or only get the benefits of having fathers in their lives. Keeping a marriage is tough but far from impossible.

    The average couple divorces after having one to two children. Why is that so? It's because children are an unexpected disruption in the couple's normal life. When the couple have children they expect everything to stay the same, but it can’t possibly. When you become a parent, you are now in charge of a whole being. Something that is living, breathing, needs nutrition and love in their life. It is normal for the mother to want to care for her child and focus on it but a lot of the time, the husband will lack that affection that was once there. All the sudden, all the moms' attention is on the baby and people forget to balance that relationship. That lack of intimacy between each other could cause severe problems if not solved right away.

    An average of seventy percent of divorced people reported after two years that they could have saved their marriage. A whole seventy percent! That is significant. But by the time two year has passed usually the man will have already married. I talked previously about how men usually get remarried soon after because they long for that whole in their life to be refilled. I want to know what stopped people from fighting for their marriage.


    There is a sixty-two percent chance that people who end up getting remarried with kids will end up getting another divorce. This could be due to already going through a divorce so “whats one more” or it could be because remarrying with kids is completely different than expected. Lets say that Bob wanted to marry Olivia who had three children who still lived in the home. Bob may expect to be the man of the house but Olivia had built a whole new way of life and discipline in the home while single. Bob might struggle with the fact that the kids don’t listen to him or that he is unable to connect with the entire family. As much as Bob may want to be a part of the family, there may still be a problem with being a reliable figure in the home. If a fight were to break out between the newly remarried couple, Olivia may prioritize the kids of her new husband.


    Let's say that Bob wants to be the greatest influence for his new kids and create a good bond between them. Bob should act as a fantastic uncle. What I mean by this is that he shouldn’t act as the man of the house. At least not for a while. He needs to show that he has a great relationship with his wife but is also always there for the kids when they need him. He should not enforce discipline on the children but instead talk to Olivia about the actions that need to be taken and then have Olivia enforce those actions. By doing this in the very beginning, he is allowing the kids to get used to him and allowing them to slowly break down their boundaries instead of letting them all down at once.

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