Family Theories

     Because families are so complex we can never have truths about families. They are all so different. This past week in class we talked about how we can use theories to understand families better. The main goal of theories is to see how families function and work together. I talked about how family dynamics differ in my last post a little bit, but now I am trying to understand what exactly helps us understand how some families work together.

    First, I want to talk about exchange theory within the family. Exchange theory basically explains that there needs to be a balance between the relationship. If there isn't a balance, the relationship will start to fall apart. Have you ever been in a relationship where you just weren't having your needs met? That is because there isn't a balance of exchange. There needs to be some give and take. For example, if you ask someone out and they say yes, you are in some way, receiving a reward. This will most likely strengthen your confidence in repeating the action of asking someone out again. 

    Something that seems to be a huge deterrence of a strong family is what we call conflict theory. Conflict theory occurs when a family experiences conflict either between money, energy or goals. Sometimes, people in a relationship don't have the same goals and thus, they don't feel like they are succeeding in their own way. We also see conflict within families who live in or near poverty. A struggle with money could cause the relationship to fall either due to stress or other problems that could cause the family to function poorly. Another example of conflict in the family is with energy. Sometimes someone may be putting more energy into the relationship than others. This also ties in with exchange theory.

    Symbolic Interaction theory is just how it sounds. Families or relationships make connections using symbols and interactions. Our experiences add meaning to symbols or interactions. Symbolic interaction theory can sometimes explain what one person believes and how another person may perceive that belief through their experiences. For example, if someone were to bring up the word 'wife', you may think of something positive and stable whereas someone else may feel negatively toward the four letter word. Through these experiences as a family, you connect and bond together. These bonding activities could be things like family meals or going on vacation together or even traditions. These symbols or interactions between one another can create something unbreakable.

    The last theory of all these theories that I wanted to talk about is systems theory. Have you ever had a friend who came from a family that was super closed off or had a friend who seemed like their family had their doors open to anyone and everyone? These are called open and closed systems. The one family who has their doors open to anyone and everyone has very permeable boundaries. These kinds of families can adapt to all kinds of social situations. In my opinion, that means that these families sometimes don't adapt in the best way or have the best bond with each other. They can be easily persuaded into changing their beliefs. The closed off family would be considered a closed system. These families fail to interact with the outside environment. They also could lack the ability in receiving corrective feedback. If you think about it, this could really affect children and how they grow and learn in their future. An example of this could be a religious cult, where they want nothing to do with the outside influence. The best type of system would be one where there was a balance between open and closed systems. This allows there to be some outside influence and connection with the environment, but also not too open to where they have no privacy.

    In conclusion, I believe that these theories can really help others understand why their relationship with the family isn't working. If people were taught these things, I think there would be a lot more relationships that would succeed in the world. I also think that in order to have a truly successful relationship with your family, you have to know where the boundaries are, but to also have boundaries that will help children grow and one day create their own families with boundaries.