Sexual and Gender Identity

It is baffling to me that today, it is so hard to talk about the subject of differences between males and females. Now a days, people can identify as "transgender, gender-neutral, non-binary, pangender, genderqueer, two-spirit, third gender, and all, none or a combination of these."(TeenTalk) Society has come to a conclusion that if a little boy plays dress up or is interested in doll houses, then he must be a girl in a boys body or must be homosexual. We are also seeing that males and females are equal. What has the world come to?

In class, we learned about the different traits of men and women. We were asked, “When you think of a woman, what are some traits that we automatically assume?” My classmates and I made a list of traits such as a woman has the ability to be aware of facial expressions more than men. Women are more aware of their relationships, they are expression oriented, and have the ability to make more connections whether that be with people or just simply recognizing that a sock is located near the front right leg of a stool. Women are also seen as more nurturing and can communicate better.

We also listed some traits for men. Men have the tendency to have an action focus or are competition oriented. They also have a stronger startle response and are more spatially aware. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, members often refer to the Family Proclamation to help guide families in knowing how they can build a stronger foundation in the family. Men have been given the ability to automatically feel inclined to provide, preside and protect their family. The Family Proclamation is just a reminder and testament to that feeling.

But what happens when a boy feels more nurturing, can communicate really well, is aware of his relationships and is expression oriented along with his traits of being competition oriented and action focused? What if he is weaker than all the boys his age? People may assume that he is homosexual. Why is this the case? When children at a young age are bullied for being different from their same gender, they become confused. They may question who they are and where they belong. I’ve realized that this bullied mentality of society has forced children to grow up and create names for themselves to feel like they fit in. 

A lot of people will argue that they were born this way. Well unfortunately, genes and prenatal hormones are not the deciding factors for what their sexual-orientation is, but, genes and prenatal hormones do decide their temperaments, like how aggressive they are or their activity level. Along with their temperaments comes with the activities the child is most likely to do. For example, a boy will most likely want to smash trucks into things or play competitively whereas the girls will more likely want to socialize amongst each other and play with dolls. People who like to do the same things will most likely want to play with each other. Boys will play with boys and girls will play with girls. For the child who does not enjoy doing the things the opposite gender likes, they will feel out of place. For those children who do not feel like they fit in with their same sex will most likely feel alienated. For example, if boys don’t like playing with dolls, girls will feel unfamiliar or exotic to them. For girls, if they don’t like rough housing, then boys will feel unfamiliar or exotic to them. But for boys who don’t like rough housing and instead want to play with dolls, they will feel alienated and view boys as unfamiliar or exotic.

The feelings of unfamiliarity brings along autonomic arousal. For girls, autonomic arousal may look like timidity or shyness when in the presence of boys. But for the a-typical boy who feels alienated by the rest of the boys, the autonomic arousal may look like fear or anger in the presence of the typical boy. As years pass, the autonomic arousal may form into erotic or romantic attraction. When in the presence of the gender that influenced a heightened autonomic arousal, those feelings turn into attraction.

Another reason why people might feel attraction towards their same sex is because that is the only comfort that they had received. I personally have gained more understanding for people who might feel attracted or different from their same sex. I know a girl whose parents had divorced and her older brother had expressed all his anger onto her. She received abuse from him and was only comforted by females in her life at a young age. Because she felt good when she was comforted by the women in her life, her feelings of safety had transformed into attraction. She doesn’t want to marry a woman but she recognizes those feelings. I hope that we can all become aware of the situation going on in this world and gain more knowledge and understanding towards sexual and gender identity.