Importance of Communication

    I know communication can be so difficult. Sometimes you might say something in person that just doesn’t come across the right way or you may say something with the right words but your body language doesn’t convey positive feelings. Your mind communicates what words you use, the tone of voice that you use those words with, and how your body and facial expressions appear all together within under half a second. What you say and how you say it can determine what happens next in your life, literally. Communication is such a crucial part of a marriage and I know that is said a lot, but I don’t think people really understand just how crucial it is.


    When we have a conversation with a loved one, or anyone for that matter, we have a thought or feeling that is being processed immediately. Our mind takes that thought or feeling and encodes it making it truly our own. We decide very quickly on how we are going to convey those feelings either by using more words, less words, through dramatic facial expressions, a loud tone of voice, shy tone of voice and literally thousands of other ways depending on if we are conversing in person, through text, facetime, or over the phone. After which, we decode those feelings leading to a physical image of us expressing those feelings or thoughts. It is up to the other person on how they then encode their own thoughts and feelings, what they do, and how they do it towards our previous expression. That goes through the whole process again and again and again.


    Depending on how we are feeling can really alter how we encode and decode our own feelings. Fear, irritation or frustration can completely change how we express our feelings. They change our facial expressions, how we say our words and what words we use. Studies have shown that when people communicate, only 14% of communicating is through words, 35% is through tone of voice, and 51% is through non-verbal communication such as hand gestures or your facial expressions. Imagine just how many fights could be avoided if only we stopped and thought about what we were to say next and how we communicated it. I believe that if we were aware of what we were feeling in the moment and were aware of the other person's feelings, it could change the whole dynamic of how people communicate.


    Effective communication is challenging, but it is important. The amazing thing about the Bible and the Book of Mormon is that it has so much gospel on how we should communicate with others. In Ephesians 4:26 it says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your bwrath.” Basically, before the sun goes down, don’t let anger control you. We also see in Ephesians 4:29 say, “Let no corrupt acommunication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” I think the word “corrupt” in this text means anything but good. So we should stray away from saying anything that would bring others down, and by doing so, it can edify us, or bring us up.


    I know that it can be really hard to communicate effectively, but just know that when you feel like arguing with someone, you are not actually arguing with that person. You are arguing with evil. In Ephesians 6:10-12 it says, “10 Finally, my brethren, be astrong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole aarmour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we awrestle not bagainst cflesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the drulers of the edarkness of this world, against spiritual fwickedness in high places.” 


    There are five secrets to effective communication. The first one is called the disarming technique. If you are in an argument with someone, in order to calm down the situation, find truth in what the other person has said. The second way is using empathy. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Make sure to paraphrase what they are saying so they know you are listening and acknowledging their feelings. The third is inquiry. Make sure to ask gentle, probing questions to understand them more fully. The fourth secret to effective communication is using “I feel” statements instead of blaming the other person and using “you are” or “you make me” statements. The final secret is called “stroking”. With this final step, you convey an attitude of respect towards the other person by finding positive things to say to the other. In this step, you are showing you want to nurture the relationship. Notice throughout all these steps, not once will you be focusing on yourself. Communication is truly the key to a nurtured relationship and is between you and the other person.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Divorced and Remarried Parents

       Did you know that social media portrays that fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce? It is crazy for me that the world has come so far as to believe that marriages aren’t special anymore. I just want to say first how grateful I am to be able to grow up knowing that being married and having that eternal companion is part of God’s plan. I think today so many people no longer believe that there are commandments out there or standards let alone a God. Regardless, children are growing up in a faithless world where they only get the benefits of having mothers in their lives or only get the benefits of having fathers in their lives. Keeping a marriage is tough but far from impossible.      The average couple divorces after having one to two children. Why is that so? It's because children are an unexpected disruption in the couple's normal life. When the couple have children they expect everything to stay the same, but it can’t possibly. When you...
Read more

Why We Should Learn About Child Development

     Child Development is such an important concept and stage in life that applies to everyone on this earth including you and me. Not many people understand the crucial effects that these stages have on young children, but this information should be known all around the world. There are three reasons why people should study child development. The first reason is to prepare for the moment when people begin to raise their own child. The second purpose is to be aware of which social policies we should have regarding young children. The final cause is to understand human nature.      When people start to understand how children develop, there is a greater ability to raise children better. In the book, “How Children Develop” Siegler explained that the children who were spanked tended to express bad attitudes. They would argue, fight back, and would convey inappropriate behavior at school (Siegler, 2017, p.3). Instead of punishing the child with physical repercu...
Read more

Intimacy in Marriage

     I found this topic specifically interesting. I grew up with a father who always told his children that men were created to have sex and women were created to bare children. While this does ring some truth, it does not define a man and a woman, but there is scientific reasoning as to why some men feel the way they do and why women may feel the way they do.      There are many reasons why some couples may participate in sexual intercourse with each other. They might be trying for a child, might want to feel passion, or may want to experience pleasure. But what is the cause for sexual intercourse deep down to the core. Women will have sex with their husband when they feel safe, close and warm. Men will have sex to feel safe, close and warm.      There are four stages of human response during sex; the excitement stage, plateau stage, orgasm stage, and resolution stage. During the excitement stage, men will experience physical arousal through...
Read more